( This post is in celebration of Wesak, a festival which commemorates the birth, the attaining of Buddhahood and the death of Lord Buddha which takes place today. This festival is generally known as a festival of light where we light lanterns, adorn the houses in strings of light and basically bedazzle our environment in a festive, yet tranquil manner. The temple plays the major role in this festival thus giving it that sense of peace, serenity and fulfillment. I have tried merely to capture the overwhelmingly ecstatic aura which surrounds the household during the festival and this is just a fraction of it that I have managed to behold in my humble words. )

I lit three lanterns today

Red for love, yellow for happiness

White for peace, perpetual cravings

Of the heart, the mind and the soul

That shall not be appeased, for there is always

Something amiss for us

The mortals, the never satisfied.

Yet, the garden

Flecked with morcels of light sang

Happy songs, quiet and calm, it swayed

Under a full moon that hung precariously from the heavens

Perfumed with the frangipani of the morning and the kadupul

The queen of the night.

The globes of light swayed, lulled

With the sacred breeze from the temple, perfumed

With incense and oil lamps, it soothed

Bathed and cleansed, for a moment

For one fleeting moment,

The weight of the world fell off sagging shoulders

While the rows of lights blinked, winked and glistened

Bathed and dazzled a chimeric state of mind.

Thank you so,very much for the award and to all those who voted for me. Hugzzz!

That flicker of light

Sometimes all you need is just one tiny little thing to deliver you relief from the colossal weight that you are forced to carry around on your shoulder. When all hope’s gone and you are lost and alone in the middle of nowhere, the lost man knows how precious even the feeble flickering of a fire fly is to make his heart soar. Even if your entire life is one big dramatic tragedy beyond repair, even if everybody else is gritting their teeth to mold you in to their models of perfection, there should at least be one compassionate part in your life, one minuscule morsel that accepts you as you are, not having expectations that shall suppress your soul and draw tears from you instead of wiping them away. There should at least be one understanding, forgiving aspect of your life that welcomes you with open arms and a shoulder to cry on. If not, life gets unbearable. Sensitivity is a good thing, but it also makes you sting extra when times get rough.

I am grateful for what I’m capable of feeling. I cherish my heightened ability to feel, whether it be smell, touch, vision, sound or emotion because it takes one to new euphoric levels of conscience that you just didn’t know existed. It’s not easy when it comes to pain though. Just like the positivity is taken to euphoric heights by hypersensitivity, pain is taken to hellish, unfathomable depths which sometimes become too calamitous to the all too fragile a soul. But then, I do not mind pain. Pleasure exists because of pain. But that pain should always, always be recompensed I believe. The soul is a beautiful, delicate thing that runs the risk of being broken, which then shall turn in to the well-beaten deer hide that lies on your couch, incapable of feeling, numb to gentle caresses. And I do not want to become a deer hide by all means, however hard things may get at times. Like I always say, pleasure exists because of pain. And I want to be able to feel everything, in every sense of that beautiful word “feel”. I do not want to lose my pleasure. Nor my pain for that matter.

That feeble flicker of light is really all you need sometimes because it can raise you to unmeasurable heights in your darkest hours. Sometimes all you need is a kiss on the forehead, a warm gaze and a loving touch to assure you that there shall always be at least one person rooting for you even if the whole world boos you down when you come last in this huge rat race of stampeding hippos and trumpeting elephants. But then, I doubt the generosity or the practicality of anyone else putting aside their own hectic, life-draining races for a while and come cheer me on, but I still expect people to do so and get hurt when they don’t in all my naiveness. They are individuals too and I’m well aware of the fact that they all got their own races to run.

But then, if you care enough, you would stop your own race for a while, for somebody for whom you care for so very much and cheer them on, wouldn’t you? I know I have. And I still do. Call me stupid, call me naive, call me a romantic imbecile but I shall keep doing so too. I have always put my loved ones first, even before my own self. And this is no soap opera line. It’s the brutal, bleeding, hurting, stinging truth. But that’s another story.

I know I’m still too green to be strong and durable to brave all my hurdles with a dazzling, unaffected smile on my face, but at least I shall try, sobbing my way through the thorns that graze my still tender skin, bearing my red rose of hope and love. But I learn each passing day. At each scratch of skin, at each stab of knives, a rare and precious lesson shall be etched in blood in the much guarded parchments of my mind.

One of these days I shall learn to look within myself for answers, that much needed self-assurance that shall keep my head above the water without expecting others to throw lifebuoys to save my drowning self on those rare moments of panic and illusion, however rare they may be. I shall know better than to cry over the grazes on my skin and worry whether they shall leave permanent scars on my skin. One of these days I shall be hardy enough to combat my way through the piranha-invaded waters without a blemish but still manage to keep my heightened levels of sensitivity to feel all the good things in life.

Like I said, I’m learning. Still learning each passing day. And each lesson beckons a new era, a new age of self-sufficient contentment, disillusionment and emotional independence that shall set me free. Hopefully I shall receive the class prize for the best student this year, I know I’m making progress fast :)

What hope?

I watched

As hands slipped away that promised

To hold on for eternity,and get

Entangled in others,ready to let go.

I watched

As forever and ever’s floated off in to the wind

Burst like bubbles,disappear

In to thin air,weep

Translucent soapy tears


I watched

As doves of innocence transformed

To midnight ravens,feed off human flesh,

Caw and snigger.Carnivorous.

I watched

As tongues that used to explore,enlace

Each other unravel

A wrath of the most horrible kind,Spit

Bite and break

Hearts that swore not to break and bleed

Hearts which swore not to bleed.

I watched

Perfection disintegrate,shed it’s perfect cloths

To reveal ugly,flawed skin,and disgust

The most dedicated souls,send them

Fleeing.I watched

Hands that caressed,touched

And pleasured,slapped

Throttled and deformed figures

Used to be kissed and fondled good night.

I watched

As promises shattered,dreams

And faith wings singed,hung

On butcher’s hooks,deceived.

What hope has the rest of us got?

What hope,when even stone statues