Yesterday I felt your absence,
Right beside me, like a perilous drop
From which I edged away, fearing for life.
Emptiness overwhelmed, overthrew
What little sanity was left, as
Hip hop beats pelted all around
Like paralyzing darts at a
Sore, swollen heart.
Have you ever felt how lonely, how barren
These club beats make you feel?
Well, you know how this goes,
Every time I look at myself in the mirror I
Try so desperately to catch maybe
A glance of your smile in my own eyes, a splinter
Of a memory perhaps trapped within
From when I last held you.
Well, you know how this goes.
When feelings overflow I throw
Handfuls in the air and catch
What I can on paper, try and build
A bridge to you with words, but
Does that bring you closer? No, but I try.
And there I sat in a lonely cab homeward
Fingers itching, to ruffle your hair
Heart a wriggling mess, scratching itself in a frenzy
Mad with longing, just for a feel of you.
Yes, so your absence gives me words, bittersweet
On the tip of the tongue, but
I’d much rather have you instead.
Walked in to a void, let myself
Be sucked up, devoured
By the emptiness, the memories
Came buzzing, like a deranged swarm of bees
That I ran away to escape.
Once loved has now become hell
The walls keep closing in, suffocating
Life’s breath gets knocked off the chest, the pain
Twists the veins, wrings
The tear glands for bloody tears, burns
The heart to cinders. Life
Is over, the sweet,sweet life that we shared
Is waning while
Has just begun.
It has just begun.
It really is the longest night
That I couldn’t sleep,I missed
Your voice for so long,your arms
Haven’t held me in a while,at this moment
All I need is you,your bushy beard
Brushing against a shoulder or tickling
The forehead as I listened
To your heart beat quicken
As my arms tighten and
I whisper nonsensical sweet nothings
Against your chest.And I
Could feel you smiling
Smiling against my cheek
As I stand on tiptoes
To hear you breath.